I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
