woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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