Me. At least after what I've been through.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize