I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
