Please, let me fuck your mom
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Found your dick twin last night
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
