It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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