And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
