I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
