We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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