Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
