My friends, they love my intelligence
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think people are normalizing furries
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
