I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
