I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
