Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
