We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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