I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
