The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
