matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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