OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
