I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
