Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
