WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
