you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
