girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
