I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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