I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
