I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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