DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
