I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
