I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
