Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
