i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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