First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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