eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
