We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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