I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
