a queef is a wish your heart makes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
