$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize