is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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