No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
