After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize