my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
