i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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