Apparently you make a good broom.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
