It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
