she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
