Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
