just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
