I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
