I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
