oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize