have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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