On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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