Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
