Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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