I'm so fucking centered right now
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
