Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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