My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
